- You know sometimes I have lots to say and don't want to blog...other times I have absolutely nothing to say and blog away...You think to yourself, why would anybody care what is on my mind today??? Here goes nothing...
- Let's start with the funny...5 of my grandchildren stayed with MawMaw Friday night and Saturday we were outside practicing some relay games for our Fall wiener roast...Well I sat down in the wagon and challenged the kids to pull me, knowing full well they couldn't, but wanted to see if they would try...Every one of them tried with all their might and could not budge me...Ben decided he wanted to try and he pulled so hard that he slid under the wagon and made skid marks on the gravel from head to toe...I am sorry, but it was hilarious, absolutely hilarious....All the kids did great with carrying an egg in a spoon from point A to point B except for Ben and he just couldn't keep the egg on the spoon...It fell and instead of trying again because it wasn't broken too bad, he took the spoon and smashed it and then rubbed it in with his foot...That was too funny too...One of the trees in MawMaw's yard has had bark to peel off in the shape of a heart...I took some red spray paint and painted a heart inside of it...Allie says "What are you going to put on there?"...I told her Vicky loves Charlie and she said "I thought you broke up with him" Is that hilarious or what? I said no he broke up with me...And she proceeded to tell me about her break up with Brandon and that Pastor Howie had told her to do it and she did and she cried....She is 7 years old and she is trying to compare break up stories with me...Now that is funny to me...Silas of course chimes in and says "Granddaddy says he broke up with you because you weren't fun anymore"...Which I said to him well he didn't see me in that wagon did he??? It's kinda sad for them to try and figure it all out, but I am glad we can talk about it freely...Kids need to keep trying to understand things that puzzles them...
3. Now for the sad repetitive story that sometimes I wished I could never talk about it again, but so far that ain't happening...I know merciless people who say, come on it's been over 6 years, move on sista'...All I can say to that is, I hope you never experience it and someone be so calloused as to say that to you...October is a very hard start to a very long season, although it's my very favorite time of the year too...I met Charlie in October of 1974 and we married in January of 1975...After 3 years of some rough times we renewed our vows on November 11, 1978...Then of course Thanksgiving and Christmas, which are the best family times of the entire year...So to say that this time of the year is hard for me is an understatement...Other people's lives and families go on, but mine stopped from the way it was to the way it is now...There have been many positive changes in my life in these years, I have travelled to places and met people that I wouldn't have otherwise met...but there is an emptiness that I can't explain to anyone unless you have been there...It gets really difficult to work family relationships around all the conflicting schedules too...I don't like that Erika is so far from home...I know her home is with Lance and I accept that, but I am talking about being close enough for her to have family, friend and church support...I am continually praying and fasting for God's perfect will in all these matters of the heart...I also don't understand why Charlie and I can't be friends and I never will understand that...I have never given him any reason not to be sociable...I understand he has chosen another life and I have not interfered in that choice...I know so many people who separate absolutely despise one another...That is so sad to me...I haven't agreed or liked a lot of the decisions that Charlie has made, ones that have forever changed my life, and without my permission or choice, but I could never despise him...He will always be a part of my life, living or dead, you cannot erase 27 years together, you cannot erase 2 children and 8 grandchildren...I pray for him each and every day and I will continue to do so...One thing I respect Charlie for above and beyond words is his work ethic...In 27 years, none of the 4 of us did without the things we needed, no repo's, no utilities cut off, no hunger ever!!!!!! I felt like he worked too much, but he was a wonderful provider and I will respect that about him always!!!!! He went to work sick as a dog in all kinds of weather, in all kinds of job situations, 0nes he hated, ones that mistreated him, he was faithful to take care of his family!!!!!!!! The only time I remember him missing a minute of work was when we were in a head on collision and for about 1 week we both were so stiff and sore we could hardly move...But that is it...one week missed in 27 years...Like I said I respect him so much for the financial provisions he provided for me and my children...Thank you God for the blessing of having Charlie provide for me and my children for all those years...I really appreciate it...I really do!!!!
4. It's different now at Antioch, not a bad different, just different...Change comes for us all ready or not...I love the Sutton's dearly and they have been wonderful friends to me...I just remembered as I am typing this blog that when Charlie first left, they invited me to their apartment for dinner and many other things through the years that I appreciate them for...The Campbell's have been some of my best friends in the world, we have been through too many difficult times together...Have there been tough times in our relationships, I would dare say yes, but through it all there is a deep abiding love and bond that still holds today...As I see the world turning darker each passing day I am striving with all my heart and soul to make heaven and spend eternity with the greatest people that this world is not worthy of...
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