Determination...

I along with many others don't believe that most New Year's resolutions work. I know we can do anything we set our minds to, if we want it bad enough. All I want is just a closer walk with the Lord. I want to strive more to get in a place with him, that he is completely pleased with my life. Also that I am making a difference to the best of my knowledge and ability. It still amazes me that the God of the universe would want to have a relationship with me. That he would sacrifice his only child for my sins. There is nothing I can ever do to deserve that. His grace is still amazing to me. I long to see Jesus, to be forever at home with him. We look all around us at the heartaches of life and they are multiplying daily, yet my hope is not in this present world. I am doing what I can to make that heavenly home, where I belong. I don't belong here. There is no safety or security outside of the Lord. He is such a faithful God. He is able to do more than my mind can even think about. I need him, I want him, I desire to be more and more like him. With all my heart and soul I want to see him move in behalf of all the needs in this life for all of us. Praying the prayer for someone to receive just what they need and they receive it, is a joy beyond words. Recently someone prayed for me over the phone and all the things that had me distressed left. Not in a instant, not in an experience I could explain, but gone. Peace not as the world giveth, but peace that Jesus left us, that can and does transcend every hurt, every disappointment, every imaginable thing this life can throw, Jesus can bring peace in and through it. Isn't that the most comforting thought in this world. Peace...What a wonderful treasure I have in this wonderful peace, buried deep in the heart of my soul, so secure that NO POWER can mine it away, while the years of eternity roll. Thank God for peace. Thank God for hope. Thank God that I keep looking to him for answers. My mind takes me places that only cause distress, but my heart overrules that thought with the peace of God that passeth all understanding. My resolution is to get closer to Jesus who can make a difference through me, in me and all around me.

My Mom can't hear very well and sometimes it's quite hilarious around here, but I came in talking to the Lord and she said are you talking to me. I said I am talking to you and to God. She said what's the matter now? I said I am just talking to him about it all. What power we possess in depending on him, like a helpless child. That is what we are. I have nothing of my own that God didn't give me. I am nothing without him. What power when I call out to him, baring my soul regarding the cries of my heart. Oh God I know not what to do, but my eyes are upon thee. I long for you to deliver, I long for you to answer, Oh precious Jesus, nevertheless not my will but thine be done.

I praise his holy name that through every battle, he is my captain, he is my deliverer. In him I trust. He will NEVER let the righteous be forsaken. He will perform all his good pleasure for me. I resolve to strive to get closer and if I lack anything, please have mercy on me now. I do not want to be self deceived in anyway, shape, form or fashion by anyone or anything. Let the light of your word shine on my path till you come for me.